Holidays are killin' me, but finally back on it, and it's time to close the @%#@ door on this problem. Turns out I thought I had it working, but the motor must have heated up just enough from screwing around that it would light without assist. Next day, no start, no way. So I think you are right, and I'm done with auto controllers.

Best I can tell from the schematic, there is nothing I can do to force this controller to come on and stay on at my command. So I'm going to try to find a parts house open today (or tomorrow) and get a Motorcraft solenoid to wire in parallel with the auto. The auto can give the after glow if needed (say, if she goes to Flagstaff or something), and the momentary button and starter solenoid gives us control as/when needed...